牛誉め

啊我的华语不是很流利所以我用英语写
A father decides to send his son Yotaro to congratulate his uncle to congratulate him on the completion of his new house. But Yotaro has difficulties in remembering the correct set phrases, which are important on such occasions and wich his father tries to teach him. Instead of using the correct phrases, he mixes up some words with words of a similar sound in Japanese, turning the sentence into a total nonsense. For example Instead of saying "The ceiling of your new house is build using delicately patterned wood from Satsuma (佐津間の鶉も木)." he keeps saying "The ceiling of your new house is build using sweet potatoes (薩摩芋の鶉豆)." Instead of pointing out hat the walls are made of cypress-wood (桧), he praises it as fart-wood (辺木). When he is supposed to praise the fine "bingo"-style of the tatami mats, he calls them "binbo" - which means cheap and worn out.
After some time the father decides to write down the set phrases on a piece of paper which he hands over to his son before sending him to his uncle's house. He especially admonishes him to compliment the uncle on an elegant knothole, which can be found in the kitchen and which the uncle likes very much, and on his beloved cow. When complimating on the knothole, Yotaro is supposed to give a complimenting advise to his uncle: "Attach a lucky charm from the akiba shrine on the wall next to it, so the hole in the wall will be spared from fire." When speaking of the cow, Yotaro shall point out that the horns are pointing to the sky, that the eyes are clearly watching the surrounding, that the nose is wet, that the tongue is black, that the ears are small and that the upper and lower row of teeth are in perfect disharmony - what a beautiful cow.
Yotaro leaves for the house. Peeping at his piece of paper, he somehow manages to compliment the uncle on the house's walls, ceiling etc. But then, when he meets his uncle's daughters, he blurts out with the words: "Her horns are pointing in the sky, her eyes are clearly watching the surrounding, her nose is all wet, her tongue is black, her ears are small and the upper and lower teeth are in perfect disharmony." When it comes to the point that Yotaro should compliment his uncle on the cow, the cow raises her tail and splashes a warm jet of urine over Yotaro. He looks at his uncle and say: "You should attach a lucky charm from the akiba shrine on the wall next to it, so the hole in the cow will be protected from urine."

*bows*